i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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