Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
