just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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