out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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