his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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