She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
