I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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