but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
