the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
