I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
