I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
