It's Friday. Sex?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
