he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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