How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
