The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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