Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
