You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
