FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
