what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
