12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
