this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
