Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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