great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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