And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize