You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
