remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
