I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
