is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
