dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
