pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
All I want is dick and wine.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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