You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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