Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
