he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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