In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you win again, gameday.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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