Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
