mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
