All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Randomize
