How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
