Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
