My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
