Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
