I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
