watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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