If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
