Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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