My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
