You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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