I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
