Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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