I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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