i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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