This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
