Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
