this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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